Ryan: See, Mom! We need a pet!
Emily: Yes, we totally need a pet! It could be anything...I mean a dog, a cat, a fish, a bird...it could even be a pet rock, Mom!
Me: Well, we could have a pet squirrel!
Me: Of course, it would have to be an outdoor pet.
Ryan: (eyeroll) Oh, come on...We NEED a dog!!
Me: What would you do with a pet?
Ryan: Um, play with it...I need some company!!
Me: There are six people in this house...what do you mean you need some company?
Ryan: I just really want the company of someone I would like to be around...
Ryan: Oh, I mean, someone other than you, of course...
And before you take his side and are all like, "Aww. Poor thing. He totally needs a dog!" This is the part where I say that we used to have a dog. A beautiful, if not completely gaseous, dog named Belle. Love her. But she made Emily look like she had been punched in the eyes (ALLERGIES!). And then we moved to a 900 sq. ft. condo in Myrtle Beach. So Belle now leads a wonderfully fabulous life full of people who love her to pieces...and a trombone. And the last time we saw Belle, Jackson needed Benedryl after spending about 3 minutes with her (ALLERGIES!). So, yeah, dogs are pretty much out of the question for us. So you can go back to being all...Ugh! Teenagers!!