the post in which i share with you the conversation that led to my husband insulting me even more than when he thought i was older than don cheadle

There is a blog I follow pretty regularly written by a woman named Ree Drummond. Also known as The Pioneer Woman. I may have mentioned her once or twice here, right? Okay, fine. I'm pretty obsessed with her. I read her blog daily, enter all of her contests (along with about 40,000 other people, so my odds aren't even remotely good, but I do it anyway!), and several of her recipes have become staples here in the Crazy House. As you can imagine, I was pretty excited to find out that she was coming here to Charlotte for a book signing on May 7th. Tonight.

Now, earlier in the week, I really thought I would go. But as the week went on and our schedules were filled with things that kept all of us up way past our bedtimes, leading to a week of grumpy tantrums, some of them even by the kids, I began to realize that my plans may not come to fruition. Which is what I told my husband last night as we were getting ready to crash.

Doug: What do you mean? You have to go! Of course you have to go!

Me: Why does it matter to you?

Doug: Well, you just have to go. You're totally in love with her! I think if you weren't married to me, you'd be married to her!

Me: Oh, I think that may be a bit of a stretch...

Doug: Okay, well then you would be her...Wait! What's that guy's name? The guy who lived with OJ Simpson?

Me: Kato Kaelin?

Doug: Yeah, that's it! You would be like her Kato Kaelin!

Me: ... ... ...

Doug: You know, you would live in her guest house!

Me: Yeah, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just compare me to Kato Kaelin and instead focus on the fact that living in her guest house would be completely awesome!

So, yeah. After Ainsley's 32nd meltdown today (Seriously, you may be inclined to believe that is an exaggeration, but I think I'm actually being conservative in that estimation), I was so exhausted that I couldn't even think about driving in rush hour traffic to stand in line for several hours, even if it was for one of the loves of my blogging life. Honestly, I don't think I could have even mustered up the energy to go see Harry Connick, Jr. You know that's saying something. And quite frankly, after the Don Cheadle thing and then comparing me to Kato Kaelin? Doug's lucky I didn't go and decide to explore my options. Because I? Would be a fantastic tenant for The Lodge. PW would be lucky to have me. I would bake cookies and bread every day in a kitchen like that and I would even knit dishcloths AND help her clean the kitchen after we tested recipes together.

Not to mention the fact that I totally rock cowboy boots...